Halloween Greetings.

STAY SHARP. AND HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!

Special request from Lou Zarelli.

Hi Sandman. I don't know if you remember me. My name is Lou Zarelli. Last month I met you at the Fallen Angel tavern and asked you to help me with a little problem regarding some cash that i stole from this band that I used to work for. I wanted to hide the money and get out of town. So I made a deal with you and wished to hide the money someplace safe until the heat died down and i could come back. I don't know how in the hell it happened. But somehow I ended up getting my ass stuck in a block of cement. This block is covering most of the lower part of my torso. I tried everything that comes to my mind to try and get this damn thing off. That is, I've tried everything short of blasting it off with dynamite. it's really hard to sleep in this thing. And going to the bathroom? Well. That's no picnic. Look. You can keep the money. Just help me get this damn thing off. Please!

Special message from The Sandman.

One More Day Till Halloween.

Message from the Sandman.

Hi folks. This is your old pal The Sandman telling you that things are still going well with my blog page. And I'm still inviting you to come pay me a visit. Read the testimonials from my satisfied past customers. Leave a comment. And if you've got the nerve, tell me about your nightmares and make a wish. Take a chance. You never know what you'll get.

Mike Foster's reply to Al Martin!!!!!!!!

Look you idiot. Are you deliberately trying to piss me off? if you are then you're really doing a great job of it. Al Martin? I don't care if your name is Godzilla. Just back the hell off before I come find you and slap you with something a little harder than a purse. JERK!!!!!!!!!

Answering message from Mike Foster. You stupid jerk!!!!!

Dude, sorry. Babe. That posting that you were whining about was from me. And my name is Al Martin. So you say that I should stick my head up my ass? Really? And just tell me. Are you gonna make me stick my head up my ass? And what if I don't? What are you gonna do? Slap me with your purse?

Message from Mike Foster to anonymous..

Ok. I don't know who's the stupid jerk that made the last posting making fun of me. But whoever the hell you are you REEEAALY need to stick your head back up your ass and mind your own damn business.

Message to Mike Foster.

Dude. You think you got problems? Try spending the last year being a dog. I've bee reading your stupid postings. You need to stop bitching like a bitch. and man up. No pun intended. LOL!!!!!!!

New Message from Mike Foster.

Ok Sandman. I know you can see this posting. In case you're forgotten, it's me. Mike Foster. I wanted a disguise and got turned into a girl. Look. I really need to get this fixed. And I'm talking now! Ok? NOW!!!!!! If you think this is a joke then it's not funny one damn bit. OK!!!! If I have to go hire a lawer or go to the cops then I'll do it. Don't think I won't!!!!!!! I NEED THIS FIXED!!!!!!!

Testimonials.

Hi everybody. This is the Sandman here. Saying that so far my new blog page is working out just fine. In fact, better than expected. I'm getting a whole new batch of customers each day. And a lot of people are quite happy with the service that i provide. After all, Where the hell else can you go to have a wish granted. it's like having your own genie in at the click of a mouse. Here are just a few testimonials from some of the characters that I've dealt with.

 Ed Kasinski.
 Chicago, Ill
 Dear Sandman. I'm really grateful for granting my wish and giving me a chance to get even with my stupid Ex wife. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first. Then I was really surprised to see that my wish came through. The only downside was that I lost four fingers on my right hand. Think you can help me out with that?

Paul Dyson.
Pittsburgh, PA
 Dear Sandman. Thanks a lot for granting me my wish. This guy was going to snitch on me to the cops after I knocked over that bank. So I had to get out of town fast. You really helped me out. The only problem is that I ended up in Antarctica. You want to talk about cold. It's cold as hell here. Good thing I found this little shack here. It's got a good supply of canned food here. The only thing is that I don't have a damn can opener. I need help. Maybe I should make a wish and go home. I can't take this damn cold. Why won't you answer my messages?

 Mike Foster,
Pittsburgh, PA
Sandman. This is Mike Foster. You remember me. I wished for a disguise so that I can do that bank job, and I woke up being a girl. Ok. Enough is enough. When I wanted a disguise I didn't mean that I wanted to switch genders. Switch me back already.

 Joe Bronson.
 Swissvale, PA
 Hi Sandman. I wanted to make a wish to get even with my girlfreind for dumping me. Can you explain to me how my house ends up burning down instead of hers?

 Bobby Klein.
Clairton, PA.
Dear Sandman. I wished for a million dollars and for some reason I end up on the witness protection program. Getting the money was great. Sort of. I just wish that I could enjoy it instead of being stuck in this flea bag homeless shelter. I guess that the feds know what they're doing.

 So there you have it folks. Just a few examples of the diversity of the many satisfied customers that I've dealt with. So why don't you hop on the bandwagon and make a wish. What have you got to loose?

Sandman's new reply to John Veltree.

Hi John. Sorry to hear that your plan with the bear didn't go along as expected. We didn't foresee that your sweetheart would be gone on vacation. We had to do something with the bear. after all, it would be a shame to let a perfectly good grizzly go to waste. So I thought that it would be best if you kept it until your sweetheart got back. And did you ever bother to get that jar of honey like I suggested? If you didn't then maybe that was why the bear was pissed off. Just saying.

John Veltree's reply from hospital bed.

Dear Sandman. The deal with the grizzly bear in that broad's apartment didn't work out the way I wanted. I waited and waited outside her place for the fun to take place but nothing happened. I waited for an hour. Then I got up the nerve to go over to her place and get a peek in the window. When i was looking around the place one of her neighbors came out and asked who I was. I needed a quick story so I told them that I was her cousin. The neighbor told me that she had left for a week's vacation. Well I'll be damned. So I was wondering if we went through all that for nothing. I went home feeling really pissed and went to bed. But when i woke up you'll never guess what happened. I found this stinkin bear in my bedroom. And he was a big ass sucker too. This bear was pretty pissed off and really did a number on me. I lost all track of time and thought that he'd never let me loose. When I woke up I was in the hospital with two broken legs, a broken left arm, and my face has so many bandages that I look like the mummy. And to make matters worse I got this damn itch on my ass that I can't get to. I'm really having a bad time.

Greetings from the Sandman.

The Sandman says that there's six more days until Halloween.

Sandman's reply to John Veltree.

Hi John. I liked your dream. So you get your wish. One large, family sized grizzly bear coming up. And I hope you have a jar of honey.

John Veltree wants to make a wish.

Hi Sandman. My name is John Veltree. I heard about you from this dude in a bar. he said that you can help me whit what ever problem I might have. So I thought I'd give you a shot. My problem is with this stuck up broad that i ran into a while back. She was in this cafe at Market square in Pittsburgh. I asked her out and she said no. I asked her out again and she still said no. I've been following this broad for a month now. She's really drop dead hot, but stuck up like some movie star or something. I don't know who the hell she thinks she is telling me no. Guys like me don't come along every day. I tracked her down to where she lives. She lives in this duplex in oakland not too far from me. I really want to play a prank on this bitch. So I tell you what. i want you to hide a grizzly bear in her house when she's not in. That way when she comes home she'll really get a hell of a big surprise. Man will this be a howl. I'm gonna be near her house to get a video of what happens when she comes home and sees this bruiser. As for your payment. Here's a dream that i had last week. I saw myself in this dark tunnel. The only light that i had was this candle. There was this draft that kept blowing out the candle. But I had a box of matches to relight it. Then i dropped the match box and the matches were all over the ground. Then the draft blew out the candle and i was stuck. So that's it. Do I get my wish? John.

Sandman replying to Jimmy Neal.

Hi Jimmy. An interesting story. And funny that you should mention this guy, Icepick. He contacted me and also wanted me to bust him out of prison. And he mentioned you several times. I don't think this guy likes you very much. But then i don't think I have to tell you that.

Jimmy Neal. S.O.S!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Sandman. This is Jimmy Neal. I asked you to help spring me out of prison. You came through for me. There was this tremor and a small part of my cell wall collapsed. I broke out and made a run for it. The tremor also broke away part of the outside wall too. I made it outside. I was really excited. There I was. I got away scott free. I was free. The only problem was that guy I told you about, Icepick. The one who wants to kill me. He got out too. Five seconds after I got out he saw me and came after me like a dog after a steak. I've been on the run from this lunatic for nearly two days. He won't let up. And he keeps carrying that same tree branch that he says he's gonna use to dig out my eyes. I'm at a point where I wish the cops would find me before he does. I managed to run and hide in a closet inside an old abandoned house. Hold on. He's followed me here. I think he's coming up the stairs. He's on this floor. He's searching through all the rooms. I think I'm in trouble.

Sandman's new reply to Bert Randal.

Dear Bert. You have three options. 1. Buy a can of Raid. Possibly 3. 2. Use a shoe on them. 3. Forget the shoe. Get a claw hammer.

Bert Randal's reply!!!!!!

YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT THEY'LL GET OUT????!!!!!!! THAT'S REALLY A BIG DAMN HELP!!!! I NEED HELP HERE!!!!!!

Sandman's reply to Bert Randal.

Hi Bert. I'm glad to see that you got the package with the cockroaches you asked for. And to spice things up a bit for you Ex I delivered Tasmanian ogre cockroaches. Very carnivorous and aggressive. And I forgot to add a note warning you that the roaches will be dormant for only 24 hours. Then they'll eat through the box and escape. My bad.

Reply from Bert Randal. Needing help with cockroaches.

Sandman. This is Bert again. I made a wish to get a box of cockroaches to mail to my Ex's house. I found this package in front of my door with a note from you saying that the roaches are inside. I was so excited. Yeah. This would really fix her ass good. So I wrote down her address on the box and went to the post office to mail it off. Then I couldn't then because i needed more money for postage. So I took the box back home and waited until the next day when i got paid. Then when i woke up I saw that there were little holes all over the box and the roaches got out. Sandman, these things are HUGE!!!! Three inches long!!!! And they bite!!!! These bastards bite hard. When I try to kill these things they run off and hide. Then they attack me when I got my back turned. And especially when I'm asleep. I had to abandon my place and now I'm living out on the street. But they're still coming after me. I need help!!!!!!!!

Sandman's reply to Jimmy Neal.

Dear Jimmy. So you want out of prison? You got it.

Jimmy Neal Needs your help.

Yo Sandman. I heard about you on the internet and decided to give you a try. I figure what have I got to loose. I'm sending you this letter from Western Pen. I've been here for three years now for robbing a bank. I can't take it here anymore. And to make matters worse there's this guy called Icepick who thinks I snitched on him to the guards. He told me that he's going to kill me sometime this week. He didn't say exactly when. I really have to get my ass out of here. I'm desperate. I want to make a deal with you. As for your fee, i had a dream that Icepick got ahold of me and dug out my eyes with a plastic fork. Please don't let this be a waste of time. I'm desperate. Yoy have to get me out!!!!!!

Sandman's reply ro Bert Randal.

Hi Bert. I like your nightmare. You get your wish. One box of large economy sized cockroaches are coming your way. PS. I'd avoid swimming in the river for a while if I were you.

Message from Bert Randal.

Hi Sandman. My name is Bert Randal. I wanted to get ahold of you at that Fallen Angel tavern on the north side. But the bartender told me that you were out. I got a problem that I hope you can help me with. My wife caught me cheating on her and wants to get a divorce.Her and her damn attorney are taking me for everything I got. Would you believe that She ended up getting the house while I have to sleep in this cheap fleabag motel? I really want to get even with her. So I figure that since she's so keen on keeping the damn house then she can have it. But she can have it when it's infested with cockroaches. So can you send me a bunch to put in her house? How about a box full of them so that I can mail them to her? And as for your payment, I had this nightmare where I was drowning in this river and all these people were sitting on the bank just staring at me. And none of these pricks would help me out. So that's it. Do I get my wish? Bert.

Sandman's second reply to John Craben.

John? You still there? John? John? Oh well.

Second reply from John Craben.

Leaky gas lines???? What the hell are you talking about???? Wait. What's that smell? I'd betterrrr zsvedfhfgn fhnmgmmg

Sandman's reply to John Craben.

Dear John. I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your new car. As well as your problems with the police. That's really too bad. if you want to talk about it so that we can smooth this over then I'd be perfectly willing to come over your house. But before I come over you might want to fix those leaky gas lines that were damaged when the car drove into your kitchen. Just saying.

John Craben wants to kick your ass.

Sandman! I really got a bone to pick with you dude. I came to you and I made a wish to get a new car to replace the one that was damaged when I had that hit and run last week. So yeah. I went to sleep and the next morning there was this brand new, shiny red Hyundi in my driveway. I got in it and started driving. Then I found out that the damn thing has a mind of it's own. It went crazy and backed into my house. it rammed straight through my damn kitchen. Then it drove through town and tried to ram into cars and run down these people on the sidewalk. The stupid car crashed all the way through a bank before it finally stopped. I got out of the car and had to make a run for it when the cops started to show up. I'm hiding out at home but i know that eventually they'll come for me. My life is all screwed up and it's all YOUR fault. I should kick your ass the next time I see you!!!!!!!!!!

Message from the Sandman.

Hi everybody. This is your old pal the Sandman. So far my experiment in having my own blog page is becoming a huge success. I'm getting a lot more attention from a lot of people like you who have all sorts of needs and problems. And if you have a little need or problem then all you have to do is tell me about one of your dreams or nightmares and I'll grant you one wish. Anything you want. Money. Fame. Power. The sky's the limit. So come on. Drop me a line and be my next victim. Sorry. Customer. (A little bit of humor there.) What have you got to lose?

Sandman's reply to Dave Jones.

Dear Dave. Sorry to hear that you're having relationship problems. You should have wished for a girlfriend that's a vegan. Live and learn. Assuming that you live long enough.

Reply from Dave Jones. HELP!!!!

Dear Sandman. Remember when i made the wish to get a beautiful, rich girlfriend? Well yesterday I was walking down Liberty Ave and I bumped into this tall, hot blond with a coffee cup. She spilled coffee on my shirt and felt so sorry about it that she drive me to her house, in her corvette, to her place in Fox Chapel. She's loaded and lives in this big house that she inherited from her father. She tool a liking to me and we really hit it off. She asked me to move in with her. Life was great. At least for a while. Living in this big house with this gorgeous babe. The only problem was that I found out that she's got this weird fetish about eating her boyfriends. She showed me the heads of these seven dudes that she has in these big jars filled with formaldehyde. She's even got a jar reserved for me. And get this. She actually expects me to be happy about letting her cut off my head with a hack saw. I tried to run out of the house but she's got all the doors locked. Right now I'm hiding under the billiard table in the game room. I hear her coming up the stairs. Dude. You have to help me. She's walking into the game room.

Reply to Mike Foster's customer complaint.

Hi Mike. Concerning your little problem. I can offer a small suggestion. Practice keeping the toilet seat down.

Customer complaint from Mike Foster.

Sandman. This is Mike Foster. We met at that Fallen Angel bar on the north side last Thursday. Look. I made a deal with you to get a disguise so that I could knock over this bank in Oakland. I didn't want to use my own face. That way I could do the bank job and throw off the cops. It's kind of hard to explain. But I was a guy when i went to sleep last night. but when I woke up this morning and I was a girl. This really isn't what I expected. Can you help me? Mike.

Second message from Ed Smithers.

Sandman. This is Ed Smithers again. Those two big angry guys are back. and they brought some friends with them. They're pounding on my door. I take that back. They're chopping my door down with an ax. Look, I really need your help here.

Sandman's reply to Ed Smithers.

Hi Ed. It's good to hear from you. Sorry to hear that you're having trouble with the season tickets deal. maybe you should have offered to invite these guys to all your tail gate parties for the rest of the season. That might have smoothed things over.

Ed Smithers needs your help.

Sandman. This is Ed Smithers. We met at the Fallen Angel last week. I really need your help. Remember when I wished for Steeler's season tickets? I don't know what the hell happened. But I got the tickets in the mail. Then the next day these two really big guys show up at my door, and one of them says that I stole his tickets. I told them that i didn't know that they were talking about. Then they start beating my ass. I went into my house to get the tickets so that they can leave me alone. But the tickets were gone. They said that they'll be back tomorrow to get their tickets. And that I'd better have them or else They're going to kill me. Please help me. Ed Smithers.

Reply from the Sandman. Hi Dave.

Hi Dave. Thanks for coming on to my blog. To be a bit honest your dream sounds kind of stupid. Not too mention a bit short. but it's good enough to get you what you asked for. So Ok. We've got a deal. A drop dead gorgeous girlfriend is waiting in the wings for YOU!

Greetings from Dave Jones.

Hi Mr Sandman. My name is Dave Jones. I live in Pittsburgh's north side same as you. I heard about you from these guys in a bar so I wanted to be the first one to go on your blog page and get a wish. I want to get even with my girlfriend for dumping me. She say's that I'm a loser and a drunk. And she's pissed because i smacked her around when she was nagging me about getting a job. I really want to fix her. To show her that i'm not some loser. i want you to fix me up with a girl who's really drop dead gorgeous. And rich. Yeah. That's what i want. And as for your payment? Well, I had this dream where I was being chased by a pack of dogs. Then i woke up. That's all I remember. So how about it? Do we have a deal?