Reply from Dave Jones. HELP!!!!

Dear Sandman. Remember when i made the wish to get a beautiful, rich girlfriend? Well yesterday I was walking down Liberty Ave and I bumped into this tall, hot blond with a coffee cup. She spilled coffee on my shirt and felt so sorry about it that she drive me to her house, in her corvette, to her place in Fox Chapel. She's loaded and lives in this big house that she inherited from her father. She tool a liking to me and we really hit it off. She asked me to move in with her. Life was great. At least for a while. Living in this big house with this gorgeous babe. The only problem was that I found out that she's got this weird fetish about eating her boyfriends. She showed me the heads of these seven dudes that she has in these big jars filled with formaldehyde. She's even got a jar reserved for me. And get this. She actually expects me to be happy about letting her cut off my head with a hack saw. I tried to run out of the house but she's got all the doors locked. Right now I'm hiding under the billiard table in the game room. I hear her coming up the stairs. Dude. You have to help me. She's walking into the game room.